After digesting THAT lady's excellence, what did you think? Her fear of the Lord - the key to her excellence (verse 30) - shouldn't that be our first priority when trying to attain God's standard? That while charm and beauty are fine, they are secondary in importance to fearing the Lord. Her fear of the Lord brings about the wisdom and characteristics that are taught throughout the book of Proverbs. In fact, the book of Proverbs begins by telling us that "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction." (Proverbs 1:7). And truly the book is one of wisdom and instruction...topics include marriage, work/laziness, friendship, child-rearing, and getting along with others, to name a few. Some info we could all use in our day-to-day lives, right? It speaks to God's practicality to our lives, but also that we have to seek, study, pursue and be disciplined to live in God's will. Keeping that in mind, let's get back to our girl...
So she's excellent. She works hard at it, pursuing it, leading her household by example. She's intentional...the reason her children rise up and call her blessed and her husband praises her is that she makes her family and her household a priority. She manages her household with selfless determination. She gets up early and works late (verses 15 and 18). STINGER. How often do we just want 5 minutes alone, to ourselves, to relax? To use the restroom without looking into another person's eyes less than a foot from you? To get into that time-black-hole called Facebook or Pinterest and mindlessly peruse the information? Doesn't look like she does much of that. Now look here, folks. I'm not saying we can't take a few moments to collect ourselves or to enjoy some rest. But at the same time, I think we have fallen into a trap of thinking we deserve that time and rest a lot more than we should. Part of that generation X, I guess. I think of my grandmother, up before anyone else, fully dressed and ready for the day before the sun came up, and still cleaning and looking after our needs when everyone else was relaxing after dinner. The world may have changed, and we've changed with it. But I think we've lost some productivity in our expectation of how life should be, and if we want to get it back, we may need to re-examine the way we spend our time. I'm preaching to myself here, too. Bottom line, it says in verse 27, she does not eat the bread of idleness. Her family and household are of priority to her over her relaxation.
She determines to do her husband good, not harm (verse 12). I don't know about you all, but my husband likes to come home to some organization and tidyness. Its the way his mind works - outer chaos only adds to the chaos of his thoughts and work worries. That is a way I can do him good, not harm, by trying to keeps some sense of organization and peace around the home. How can you intentionally do your husband good? Try working on that, doing something to build him up, regardless of whether you think he deserves the extra effort or not. We're not working on God's standard for him, but for ourselves here. The Proverbs 31 chick has added to her husbands standing in the community by her character and work (verse 23). What she does benefits her husband, and in turn, he praises her for it (verse 28).
Her character is one of strength and dignity, so much a part of her that it seems like she's covered in it (verse 25). When she speaks, she speaks in wisdom and kindness (verse 26). Don't miss that one...its a biggie. When she speaks, it isn't slander, gossip, anger, bitterness or complaint. Its wisdom and the teaching of kindness that flow from her mouth. We should take our anger, slander, bitterness and complaint to God, where we're already forgiven for it and can be corrected for it, than let it come flowing out of our mouths to poison everything around us, including our character. We all fall victim to this, and this is another area where we just have to be intentional with ourselves.
Whether you work at home or work outside the home, there is always work to be done. She is productive. THAT lady does a lot of sewing and sells it and has a vineyard. That would turn some people off and dismiss the whole passage as unattainable. What's your talent? You may not be crafty or creative or have a green thumb, but I don't think we can get stuck on the what of her talent, but that she uses it to profit her family. So what is your talent that you can use? You don't have to sell things, but you can use your talent to help others. Verse 20 states that she opens her hand to the needy and the poor. She gives of her talent and time. Yet another example of her character and her leadership by example.
The kicker of this Proverbs 31 standard is that she is able to balance all of this, her family, her household, her work and her charity. No one woman will ever look exactly like this, and we shouldn't. We are individuals, works in progress, with different personalities, talents, gifts and pressures. But there is wisdom here. First and foremost, fear the Lord. Pursuit of His Will for our lives through prayer, study and self-discipline is key to finding balance of any kind in our lives. Next is looking to our priorities. Is our family and household our priority? Are we diligent in being intentional with the way we treat our husbands and raise our children? Are we wise in our spending habits and using our talents to benefit our household and help others? Do we examine our hearts and actions to be sure they line up with godliness, thus providing an example for those around us to pursue His wisdom in their own lives?
No one is perfect. I am among the least perfect people you'll meet. I felt led to look for and share the keys to success THAT woman, the Proverbs 31 lady, had. I don't feel led to back up to the kicking machine because I don't match her exactly. That isn't what this is meant to do, nor is it what God wants for us. We are to strive for a higher standard, His standard...not worry about where others are in their progress and compare ourselves to them. And be ever so grateful that we are covered in grace and love on our journey.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Balancing Act
Trying to find balance in life as a mom is hard. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, right? I struggle with being an attentive mom and wife, a good friend, a productive household manager (that is an endless job description in itself), an amazing fitness instructor/personal trainer/health coach and still also have time for my sanity, my relationship with God (which should be the source of my sanity and praise and worship and joy and fill all the holes that I can't), our family and a bunch of other things that I cannot mention because, quite frankly, I don't have the time to categorize it all!
Life is busy. Everyone knows we're over-doing. Sports is an all-in hobby. If you have more than one kid or more than one sport to attend to, you're all-in and then some. And we're all trying to make ends meet...so there's work. And social commitments. I see people posting/blogging/being organized and all looks like its in order and I'm left wondering how they do it! How do they juggle it all? Where do they find the time?
I turned to Proverbs 31 to see how she did it. And I found some things that I will blog about in other posts. But in the end, after praying about it, talking to folks, I found that it does come down to our priorities. The Great Commandment: Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul. And loving our neighbor as ourselves. Matthew 22:34-40 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A34-40&version=NIV). The world would be perfect, because your priorities are in order. And everyone is treating everyone else with love, respect and helping hands. Everything falls into place from there....at least where God's concerned.
But where the world is concerned - that is a whole other business....hate, envy, lust (for people, objects, status, money, you name it) are the ways of the world and the criteria the world uses to judge your success. How others do it...how they juggle it all....where they find the time. Judging ourselves and others by the world's standard. THAT is when I feel the smallest, the most worthless, inadequate and overwhelmed. It is simply not meant to be that way...at least not the way our Creator created us to live.
When I think of the way I started this post...trying to balance all of my responsibilities...I have to look realistically at the priority I give to those various responsibilities. What comes first: making sure my house is in order or checking whats going on with friends, social media and email? When my kids need something, do I give them my undivided attention or am I thinking about what exercise is going to really make my boot camp class groan or catching up on laundry? Most importantly...Did I give God my firstfruits or did I decide to sleep a little later and have my coffee while I checked out the internet? Hooofta!
Priorities. Honest assessment. Start there...its where I'm starting. And be on the lookout for the Proverbs 31 post...I think if there is anyone we can use as a standard for pulling our lives together, its got to be God's standard, not the world's.
Life is busy. Everyone knows we're over-doing. Sports is an all-in hobby. If you have more than one kid or more than one sport to attend to, you're all-in and then some. And we're all trying to make ends meet...so there's work. And social commitments. I see people posting/blogging/being organized and all looks like its in order and I'm left wondering how they do it! How do they juggle it all? Where do they find the time?
I turned to Proverbs 31 to see how she did it. And I found some things that I will blog about in other posts. But in the end, after praying about it, talking to folks, I found that it does come down to our priorities. The Great Commandment: Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul. And loving our neighbor as ourselves. Matthew 22:34-40 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A34-40&version=NIV). The world would be perfect, because your priorities are in order. And everyone is treating everyone else with love, respect and helping hands. Everything falls into place from there....at least where God's concerned.
But where the world is concerned - that is a whole other business....hate, envy, lust (for people, objects, status, money, you name it) are the ways of the world and the criteria the world uses to judge your success. How others do it...how they juggle it all....where they find the time. Judging ourselves and others by the world's standard. THAT is when I feel the smallest, the most worthless, inadequate and overwhelmed. It is simply not meant to be that way...at least not the way our Creator created us to live.
When I think of the way I started this post...trying to balance all of my responsibilities...I have to look realistically at the priority I give to those various responsibilities. What comes first: making sure my house is in order or checking whats going on with friends, social media and email? When my kids need something, do I give them my undivided attention or am I thinking about what exercise is going to really make my boot camp class groan or catching up on laundry? Most importantly...Did I give God my firstfruits or did I decide to sleep a little later and have my coffee while I checked out the internet? Hooofta!
Priorities. Honest assessment. Start there...its where I'm starting. And be on the lookout for the Proverbs 31 post...I think if there is anyone we can use as a standard for pulling our lives together, its got to be God's standard, not the world's.
Balancing the Proverbs 31 Standard: Part 1
Deep breath...where do we begin with her? She's that lady that has it all together. Her husband raves about her and not only treats her like a gem, but she IS a priceless gem in his heart & eyes, her friends are in awe of her (though it probably doesn't keep them from trying to find and secretly delight to her flaws; why are women so catty?), her children look, act and actually ARE perfect, she's a go-to when you need to know what to do and how to do it, and she's productive. I mean, reeeeallly productive: her house is immaculate, she's creative and can decorate/build/design anything, her meals are to die for, and although she is in perfect physical condition, she never is seen in public in her workout clothes with no makeup and a pony tail that still has sweat trapped in it from her morning workout even though its 3 pm. Yep, THAT lady.
Talk about pressure! We ladies are so incredibly hard on ourselves, trying to live up to an ideal. Which ideal we're living up to depends on who we look up to. Society has an ideal, our husbands have an ideal, we have an ideal and the Bible has an ideal in Proverbs 31:10-31. Basically, the lady in the passage rocks....she's THAT lady. If you don't know about her, don't fret. Because when you read about her, it probably will put you in a bit of a funk. Or it will inspire you. Or both.
So back to living up to an ideal standard...It is, in a word, impossible. For so many reasons. First of all, it causes you to look to an external source to compare yourself to. "If only I was as fit/thin/curvy as her," "I wish I had her clothes, " "Her house is always so clean and organized," and so forth. While these thoughts can be inspiring to go to the gym and order a salad or do some spring cleaning on a rainy day, they should be used just as that and not a comparitive obsession that causes us to feel insignificant, not good enough, hopeless or fixated on what we're not. And we become fixated on that quality or qualities that we want to capitalize on in ourselves, forsaking other areas of our lives that we have to tend to. We humans, ladies in particular, tend to spend a lot of time looking around and not enough time looking within. We make assumptions on what we see or feel and not truth. And you know what happens when we ASSUME... We make an "ASS out of U and ME" (I once got detention for pointing that out to a teacher...I guess I assumed saying "ass" in an educational format would be permissable in class. Please forgive my use here...but it is another word for donkey, right?). And when we see what amazing things other people are doing, buying, creating on Facebook and Pinterest, we think we have to do those things too. We assume that we are incomplete if we don't live up to what others are doing. Or we assume that these people wouldn't like us, wouldn't accept us, or even that they're mean and not "our type of friend." We become jealous, catty, depressed, even dislike people based on those assumptions. So out went any possible inspiration and in comes dark thoughts, dark attitudes, and negative behavior. And in the meantime we've missed so many opportunities to learn and move forward because we're so stuck in park and obsess.
I could go off here on being positive, having healthy self-acceptance and loving who you are and embracing where you are and setting a positive goals and moving forward and bettering (not changing) who God created you to be, but will do that at a later blog. This is something I feel strongly about, but this isn't the time for that. This is the time to talk about HER. THAT lady.
First, read about her: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=NIV . (If the link doesn't work, grab your Bible and turn to Proverbs chapter 31.)
Wow. This chick exudes excellence. In everything she does...in fact, the passage starts and ends by describing her with excellence, in verse 10 and verse 29. Right now a flashing red light of doubt may be flashing in the back of your mind. Excellence can be intimidating. And all the talk about her weaving linens and the mention of maidens would lead us to dismiss her as unattainable...I mean, I don't have any maidens to help me with housework or childrearing. But let's look closer. She's a great wife and homemaker, she contributes to the household economically, cares for those less fortunate and provides an example to her household and neighbors with wisdom, kindness and work ethic. OK, now we have some examples of things we can work with and strive for. And we can strive for this ideal, because we know her secret. Didn't see it? Read the passage again. Verse 30 gives it away: "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." THAT lady fears the Lord.
So THAT is what fear of the Lord looks like. We can't strive for anything else with any true success without starting our journey there. Fear of the Lord. Knowledge that we are not in control. Realization that the big picture is in His Big Hands (Cue in song "He's got the whole world in His hands). In verse 25 it says she laughs at the time to come. She doesn't sit and worry about the future. She doesn't try to control everything and everyone around her. She has a healthy fear of the Lord and humility before Him to know she can only do her best and trust Him with the rest. That's right, she does her best...not what someone else's best is. Just hers. In verse 25 it says she laughs at the time to come. She doesn't sit and worry about the future. She doesn't try to control everything and everyone around her. She has a healthy fear of the Lord and humility before Him to know she can only do her best and trust Him with the rest. That's right, she does her best...not what someone else's best is. Just hers. She isn't idle either, she works at everything she does (v27). She gets up when it's still dark (v15) and is still at it when it gets dark again (v18). So we know we need fear of the Lord and hard work...and it is hard work to truly fear the Lord. In our world, with our focus in the wrong places, our divided hearts, our drive to succeed at all costs, our expectations of what we "deserve", our need to control our lives and the actions of those around us, it IS hard work to truly trust in and fear the Lord.
Let's start there then. With developing a fear of the Lord. HOW? Prayer and study of His Word and surrender. Not just on Sunday morning. Carving out time (and it does take carving, sometimes with a machete) in your day to sit down and read, study, think upon, and digest the Bible. Praying for His will, not your own, in your daily actions, decisions and future. Once you make that a habit, the rest becomes easier to manage (Not easy, just easier; later on we're still going to look how THAT lady does it :)
Talk about pressure! We ladies are so incredibly hard on ourselves, trying to live up to an ideal. Which ideal we're living up to depends on who we look up to. Society has an ideal, our husbands have an ideal, we have an ideal and the Bible has an ideal in Proverbs 31:10-31. Basically, the lady in the passage rocks....she's THAT lady. If you don't know about her, don't fret. Because when you read about her, it probably will put you in a bit of a funk. Or it will inspire you. Or both.
So back to living up to an ideal standard...It is, in a word, impossible. For so many reasons. First of all, it causes you to look to an external source to compare yourself to. "If only I was as fit/thin/curvy as her," "I wish I had her clothes, " "Her house is always so clean and organized," and so forth. While these thoughts can be inspiring to go to the gym and order a salad or do some spring cleaning on a rainy day, they should be used just as that and not a comparitive obsession that causes us to feel insignificant, not good enough, hopeless or fixated on what we're not. And we become fixated on that quality or qualities that we want to capitalize on in ourselves, forsaking other areas of our lives that we have to tend to. We humans, ladies in particular, tend to spend a lot of time looking around and not enough time looking within. We make assumptions on what we see or feel and not truth. And you know what happens when we ASSUME... We make an "ASS out of U and ME" (I once got detention for pointing that out to a teacher...I guess I assumed saying "ass" in an educational format would be permissable in class. Please forgive my use here...but it is another word for donkey, right?). And when we see what amazing things other people are doing, buying, creating on Facebook and Pinterest, we think we have to do those things too. We assume that we are incomplete if we don't live up to what others are doing. Or we assume that these people wouldn't like us, wouldn't accept us, or even that they're mean and not "our type of friend." We become jealous, catty, depressed, even dislike people based on those assumptions. So out went any possible inspiration and in comes dark thoughts, dark attitudes, and negative behavior. And in the meantime we've missed so many opportunities to learn and move forward because we're so stuck in park and obsess.
I could go off here on being positive, having healthy self-acceptance and loving who you are and embracing where you are and setting a positive goals and moving forward and bettering (not changing) who God created you to be, but will do that at a later blog. This is something I feel strongly about, but this isn't the time for that. This is the time to talk about HER. THAT lady.
First, read about her: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=NIV . (If the link doesn't work, grab your Bible and turn to Proverbs chapter 31.)
Wow. This chick exudes excellence. In everything she does...in fact, the passage starts and ends by describing her with excellence, in verse 10 and verse 29. Right now a flashing red light of doubt may be flashing in the back of your mind. Excellence can be intimidating. And all the talk about her weaving linens and the mention of maidens would lead us to dismiss her as unattainable...I mean, I don't have any maidens to help me with housework or childrearing. But let's look closer. She's a great wife and homemaker, she contributes to the household economically, cares for those less fortunate and provides an example to her household and neighbors with wisdom, kindness and work ethic. OK, now we have some examples of things we can work with and strive for. And we can strive for this ideal, because we know her secret. Didn't see it? Read the passage again. Verse 30 gives it away: "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." THAT lady fears the Lord.
So THAT is what fear of the Lord looks like. We can't strive for anything else with any true success without starting our journey there. Fear of the Lord. Knowledge that we are not in control. Realization that the big picture is in His Big Hands (Cue in song "He's got the whole world in His hands). In verse 25 it says she laughs at the time to come. She doesn't sit and worry about the future. She doesn't try to control everything and everyone around her. She has a healthy fear of the Lord and humility before Him to know she can only do her best and trust Him with the rest. That's right, she does her best...not what someone else's best is. Just hers. In verse 25 it says she laughs at the time to come. She doesn't sit and worry about the future. She doesn't try to control everything and everyone around her. She has a healthy fear of the Lord and humility before Him to know she can only do her best and trust Him with the rest. That's right, she does her best...not what someone else's best is. Just hers. She isn't idle either, she works at everything she does (v27). She gets up when it's still dark (v15) and is still at it when it gets dark again (v18). So we know we need fear of the Lord and hard work...and it is hard work to truly fear the Lord. In our world, with our focus in the wrong places, our divided hearts, our drive to succeed at all costs, our expectations of what we "deserve", our need to control our lives and the actions of those around us, it IS hard work to truly trust in and fear the Lord.
Let's start there then. With developing a fear of the Lord. HOW? Prayer and study of His Word and surrender. Not just on Sunday morning. Carving out time (and it does take carving, sometimes with a machete) in your day to sit down and read, study, think upon, and digest the Bible. Praying for His will, not your own, in your daily actions, decisions and future. Once you make that a habit, the rest becomes easier to manage (Not easy, just easier; later on we're still going to look how THAT lady does it :)
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